Be the Bamboo – Guest Post
We accept the love we think we deserve. Let me tell you something about love. It’s out there in this cold cruel world. Why else would so many people write poetry or novels about it? Paint it? Make movies about it? Write songs about it? Strive for it? It has to be out there.
As I’ve mentioned in my own blog, I recently went through a break-up after a year-long relationship. I wake up each morning and feel the weight of the loss of that relationship when the reality that I’m not in what was my own bed, strikes me. I learn something new in every relationship; getting me closer and closer to what I hope will be the right person. I fooled myself this time thinking that relationships take work and that I needed to keep working at it, but I realized that all I was doing was changing myself to please somebody else. That’s not right.
My friend says I was the vine. There is some psychology analogy of an oak and a vine. The oak is sturdy, with its roots planted firmly in the ground. Unmoving. The vine grows around the oak, changing its own shape in order to co-exist with the oak. He says a healthy relationship is where you’re both bamboo and bend with the wind but never break. Bamboo is of course sturdy and resilient.
I also feel my old self coming back, a version which isn’t always walking on eggshells or feeling judged. I’m sad as hell but I know it wasn’t right. We gave it a shot but in the end we just weren’t compatible. We both knew it but I think we valued each other’s friendship and company too much to actually let it go. I kind of thought we weren’t right for each other after we’d been dating about three months and I was close to breaking it off but didn’t. Maybe I would have spared myself the heartache but there were some really nice memories made. If I had I might wonder today if I’d made the right choice.
It is what it is. I’m sorry I have no advice to give you this blog. I guess the only thing I can say at this point is don’t be afraid to take a risk with your heart from time to time. There is a lot of fear. A lot of hate. A lot of deception. There is also a lot of happiness. A lot of kindness. A lot of love.
People make a lot of poor choices because of fear. Fear of being alone. Fear of being hurt. Fear of rejection…
Make sure love is what drives you.
Bio: Online dating veteran who prefers to find the silver-lining in situations. Life is short. Might as well laugh. Masters in the school of life with hopes of gaining my PhD in time. Real life advice because, well, I’ve been there. @MexiGingerMe