The Talk – Guest Post
How do you bring it up? When do you bring it up? The ‘exclusivity’ talk has somewhat evolved into the ‘online dating profile’ talk. Come on, you know you’ve done it. Things are going well, really well, with someone and you couldn’t imagine sending another wink but then you wonder….are they still out there winking?
These days just because you’re intimate with someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re exclusive so at what point to you cut the Ethernet chord and close down your online dating account? In terms of timing, I think it’s fair to want to bring it up when some genuine feelings are stirring. Here are a few strategies on how to approach that subject:
Lay it out on the table strategy
Yes, it’s petrifying but all you need is about 30 seconds of absolute courage to say:
“I like you and I want to see where things go with us so I’ve closed down my account.”
Really you can probably spit that out in more like 15 seconds….if summoning said courage proves difficult there is always whiskey.
The casual ‘drop it into the conversation randomly’ strategy
“Yeah, I haven’t been on the site in a while. How about you? “
It’s showing a bit of vulnerability, yes. However, it’s presented so casually that hopefully you’ll get an honest reply. Hopefully they’ll answer with a:
“Yeah, me neither.”
Where you can follow-up with a:
“Well, maybe I’ll just hide my profile. See where things go.”
If they something like:
“Yeah I still check it out.”
You know you aren’t exactly on the same page and it’s probably too early to bring up any sort of exclusivity.
Some tell-tale signs that the person you’re seeing is still in the online dating game:
They’re constantly on their cell phone (and they are not a drug-dealer or the prime minister)
You check their profile and they’ve logged in recently (assuming you’re past the point where you’re still communicating through the online dating site)
They never talk about the future or the relationship
They never express any sort of feelings towards you
Bio: Online dating veteran who prefers to find the silver-lining in situations. Life is short. Might as well laugh. Masters in the school of life with hopes of gaining my PhD in time. Real life advice because, well, I’ve been there. @MexiGingerMe