Facebook – Guest Post
The smile of self-satisfaction quickly fades when I see the broken-heart icon pop up in my newsfeed with the phrase “Speedstripe went from being in a Relationship to SINGLE.”
“Again,” I think to myself with a heavy sigh.
You know what I do after a break up? I go on my laptop. Make sure I’ve got a good wifi connection and log onto Facebook where I then proceed to wear out the delete button. Any proof of said relationship is wiped from my profile page: pictures, posts, friends, everything! Is this healthy? Probably not. Mature? Not really. Therapeutic? Hells yeah. I’m essentially cyber-killing them and it feels so good.
Until I see that damn icon. Then the comments from concerned friends:
“I’m so sorry, what happened?”
“Are you okay?”
“I’ve got a bat, a big trunk, and some lime.”
I don’t even list what my “Status” actually is anymore. Here’s the thing with Facebook. It reveals basically everything about you. It’s like introducing someone to your virtual social circle, your entire life really! Your online dating profile is a controlled version of your Facebook profile. Except your friends and family aren’t usually checking out your online dating profile or posting on it. It raises the question:
When is it appropriate to add someone you’ve met online to your Facebook?
Here’s my rule of thumb. Definitely not before you’ve met them in person or when you’re still dating casually. Maybe once you’ve chatted about exclusivity. Maybe. If they’ve met some of your social circle in person, that would be ideal. If you decide to add them before meeting them or when you’re still dating casually I’d advise to use those privacy settings and put them on high!
Click on “Friends” in your profile
Find your online date and click on the “Friends” tab beside their picture and a menu should pop up
If you have a “Limited Profile” type list click on it so that it’s check marked. If you do not have said list scroll down to “Create a New List” and create an “Online Dating” or “Limited Profile” list
Once you’ve created this list go into your “privacy settings” (found in the cog wheel icon in the top right hand corner of the screen)
- Click on “edit” for “Who can see my stuff”
- Then click on “custom.”
- A window should pop up and in the field where it says “Don’t share with” and has a red “x” icon type in the name of the list you’ve just created.
Don’t forget to do that in your photo albums as well! Each album has individual privacy settings.
Under “Photos” go to “Albums” click on the album and then go to the cog wheel icon and then follow steps 1-3 as you did in “Privacy Settings”