Small World? No kidding – Guest Post
“Ouuuuu, let me see a picture!” I responded to her that Monday evening over coffee. She instantly pulled out her Blackberry with a shy grin and showed me the picture of a tall, Mediterranean-looking dark haired man in front of what looked like a villa somewhere in Europe.
“Oh, I was chatting with him last week. He seems pretty nice, eh?” I said and her face dropped.
Why is it that despite living in a city of almost a million people, I somehow ended up e-seeing the same guy as my friend? I guess it isn’t surprising. We are friends and therefore have a lot of things in common, it would make sense that our ‘matches’ would match. Really, it kind of gave us an opportunity to compare notes and check for inconsistencies but seriously? Seriously? We both were being chatted up by the same guy, at the same time.
It’s to be expected that when you meet someone online they’re likely chatting with other people as well but where do you draw the line? If I was out at some sort of public event and I knew a guy was chatting me up then crossing the room and chatting up another woman, I’d be kind of offended. Why isn’t that the case with online dating? What makes it different? Why the double standard? Am I alone in this? Would you be a little offended? I digress.
Back on topic. Then there was the time, this was a new one for me, where I met this guy but I’d already met him before. We’d been communicating via OkCupid messages and then via texting for a couple of weeks and it wasn’t until I Googled him that it hit me. I know this guy. I met him in professional circumstances originally so it didn’t even occur to me to consider him attractive or worth pursuing. I still met him for a drink, I thought, why not? It became even more surreal because, as it turned out, he and I shared a lot of mutual professional acquaintances. I’ve made it a rule never to mix business with pleasure. I did once and it turned into what I like to call my “rock bottom” in terms of romantic relationships, so, no thank you! Despite his attempt to ‘spin’ it into ‘not a big deal, it eventually happens the older you get and more time you spend in one place,’ I just couldn’t turn the switch back on (even if he was good looking, successful, and oh so charming.) I don’t make honey where I make money. Won’t do it. I’d be willing to throw out some of my ‘rules’ but that one is definitely set in stone.
The nail in the coffin in the end was the texts he’d sent directly following our meeting, to sum it all up it went something like:
“You looked so hot in that dress, you probably drive the men wild, my mind is in the gutter”
FYI, it’s the same dress as the “First Date Mistakes” guy (Mistake Number 6, Sexting). Guess I need to reconsider wearing that dress on a first date. It does show ‘the girls’ in all their glory.Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate flattery but when it becomes clear that my physical attributes are all you see, I’m out. I’ve got a lot more to offer.
The Sherman Brothers had it right. It’s a small world after all. Even the online world. Instead of calling it the World Wide Web it should be called the Small Emaciated Trap.