If you’ve been dating online for awhile, odds are you’ve learned some things about yourself and those you’ve been attracting. That information makes it an ideal time to make sure that your dating profile is still the best representation of you. So if you slapped up a few haphazard sentences and a random photo of yourself over a glass of wine on a lonely Friday night, it might be time to take a second look at your relationship resume.
Your dating profile is essentially your relationship resume. You’re looking for someone to hire you as their significant other. You need to consider if your profile gives a clear, honest picture of who you are and provides enough information to see if they want to get to know you better. That long essay or few sentences you write gives clues to others about the kind of person you are and the type relationship they might have with you.
Would you hire you for love?
Before changing anything, take a look at what you currently have up and try to imagine what it looks like to someone that’s never met you. Do you think they’d “hire” you to be their CEO of Love? Remember this is their first impression of you. Consider the following questions:
- Does your profile clearly express who you are?
- Is your profile an honest representation of what you’re capable of in a relationship?
- Is it obvious to the reader what kind of person and relationship you’re looking for?
- Are you looking for a long term committed relationship, but stating in your profile that you like to party and have pics up with you constantly at happy hour? You might want to adjust this.
- What kind of relationship do you want? Are you looking for something casual or long-term? Are you just looking to meet new people and have fun? Do you think you’ve made your relationship intentions clear in your profile?
- What do your images say about who you are? Do you have captions to give them a bit more life?
Do your research
If you aren’t exactly sure how to analyze your own profile, a great way to get the ideas flowing is to check out the profiles of both your competition and possible dates. Sometimes it’s easier to clarify our likes and dislikes while looking at others profiles since we aren’t so close to the subject matter. This time when you look at profiles note what you like (and here’s the important part) note why you like those traits. Do the same with what you dislike. What attracts you to them or turns you off? Is there something similar that you could incorporate into your own profile or something you should be taking out? This research will help give you a fresh perspective for your own profile.
Share your passion, clarify your goals
Now that you’ve taken a look at other profiles and noted what attracts or repels you, revisit your own profile. Make sure you’ve clearly stated what you’re looking for and go beyond the website provided check boxes. Let visitors to your profile know what you’re passionate about. Maybe even outline what a fun lazy Sunday afternoon is like with you so that it’s easier for someone to see if they might be a fit. Review your photos. Are they all the same close-up of your face or do you have a good variety of photos? I suggest at least three or four photos and please make sure they are within the last year or so.
If you past relationship defines you, step away from dating
A word about mentioning your past relationships in your profile. Just like you wouldn’t complain about an old boss on your resume, don’t complain about ex’s or discuss that you’re fresh out of a marriage or long-term relationship. If you recently ended a relationship or feel really compelled to mention that fact in your profile you may want to hold off dating until you have worked through your feelings about that. The last thing you want to do is drag residue from your past relationship into a new one.
Remember that this profile provides the first pieces of the puzzle someone will have about you. While you should never lie, there are some pieces of information that should be left for face to face conversations or worked through if they are still front and center in your mind. You should be in a positive state of mind when you put yourself out there to date and your profile should reflect that.
Make sure your shine shows
As they say you never have a second chance to make a first impression that’s certainly true for job resumes and also for dating profiles you post. Make sure that when someone’s eyes go past your profile that it’s easy for people to see the things that make you shine. So, if they pass you up it’s because it’s simply not a fit and not because they didn’t get the full picture of who you are what you’re looking for. The job of significant other is one of the most important you’ll hold, so make sure that your profile represents you to the best of your loving relationship abilities.
Cija Black is a love expert, author, blogger, online educator and host of the “Love Bombs” podcast. For more information about Cija, the books, class or podcast, visit modernloveguide.com.