So they live with their parents – Guest Post
You don’t have to write them off because they live with their parents.
Sparks are flying and the conversation never seems to die. The more you chat the more things you seem to have in common and you’re beginning to see the possibility of a future. Then it’s revealed on date two (which is actually your first-second date) that *dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn* they live with their parents. Yikes! Before writing them off completely, this actually kind of common today.
The Boomeranger
People today are graduating with a crippling debt before they’ve even found a job in a recessive economy. A lot of post-grads end up back at their parents in order to save money before they get up on their feet. Also known as the “Boomerang Generation”
Mid-Life Career Change
In this recessive economy it’s an ugly reality that people are receiving a little pink slip and so, depending on the field, it’s time for a change in career. Again, to save money while going back to school they might be staying with mommy and/or daddy.
Divorce
It’s more common than our parents generation. In Canada, 4 in 10 first marriages end in divorce and maybe they lost everything in a bitter battle and were forced to go back to the nest to lick their wounds and regenerate.
Culture
It’s part of some cultures to live with your parents until your wedding day. It is what it is and I guess you just have to respect it.
Basically it all comes down to money. If they’re staying with their parents in the SHORT term in order to create a more promising future in the LONGTERM then I say, give it a chance! Especially if there is something really cool happening but if they never LEFT the comforts of their mommy’s basement (unless it’s part of the culture) then that’s definitely cause for alarm and run. Fast.
Bio: Online dating veteran who prefers to find the silver-lining in situations. Life is short. Might as well laugh. Masters in the school of life with hopes of gaining my PhD in time. Real life advice because, well, I’ve been there. @MexiGingerMe
What you should never do when online dating – Guest Post
Do not. I repeat do NOT send anyone money you’ve met online.
Image: Free Digital Photos
Some of these might seem obvious but they aren’t, and I know I’ve been guilty of one or two of them, but believe it or not, it’s kind of a battlefield out there so protect yourself.
Use your real name
Create an alias and use that name until you’re comfortable. First name is ok but I wouldn’t give out my last name until I’m pretty sure this person is not a cold-blooded killer. It’s incredibly easy to ‘google’ someone these days and find out, basically everything, about them. Hell, with a name and birthdate in Canada you can get a lot more than you’d think through checking public records.
Divulge your personal or work email
Lots of people try and take the relationship off the site very quickly, as to avoid the restrictions placed on you while using their messaging system. If you do decide to start using email, create an online dating email address (it takes like two minutes!) that does not include your first and last name.
Divulge your cell phone number
They might be turning around and selling your number to one of those telemarketing businesses and then you’ll be getting non-stop phone calls or those texts that cost YOU $2 a pop. Ok, ok, it’s highly unlikely that is going to happen, but your cell phone number should be reserved for, in my opinion, after the first date. Everyone is on smart phones these days and Starbucks has free wifi, so that should be sufficient, or Skype chat with them. Even my mom has about half a dozen Skype accounts.
Divulge your home address
Never meet someone at your place. They could stalk you. Instead, meet them at a coffee shop nearby or have them drop you off at an intersection nearby. At least for the first little while.
Give money
If they ask you to send them money for an emergency surgery on their pet Meercat….block them. If they are a secret federal agent who can’t talk about their work as it would put you in danger and suddenly need you to wire them money to get them out of Syria….tell them you hear the weather in Syria is lovely….then block them.
Bio: Online dating veteran who prefers to find the silver-lining in situations. Life is short. Might as well laugh. Masters in the school of life with hopes of gaining my PhD in time. Real life advice because, well, I’ve been there. @MexiGingerMe
Mother’s Day Special – Why You Should Date a Single Mom – Guest Post
Mother’s are superhuman. They are everything and anything you need them to be. They’re selfless and giving creatures. At least I know my mother is. Single Mom’s, well, they’re in a league of their own. I have so much respect for all mothers out there but the ones who are doing it on their own and doing it like a boss are beyond amazing. Here are a few reasons why single mothers make ideal
1. They Don’t Play Games - They have a child to worry about so they don’t have the time or the energy to play those awful head games. They’re usually straight shooters who tell you how it is. You know exactly where you stand with single
2. They’re Down to Earth - Generally speaking single moms have a pretty good head on their shoulders. They’re stable and can hold down a job because they are providing for their family. They aren’t afraid of a little hard work because they’re working 24/7 between their jobs/careers and taking care of their
3. They’re Understanding - Single mothers are resilient. They have been through it all and so they can relate to most issues that might pop
4. Healthy relationship pace - They are not only thinking about themselves but also about how their relationships affect their children. If they’re approaching the relationship in a healthy way then they’re likely to keep things going at a nice and steady pace. They aren’t looking to race into anything too serious too
5. Their kids - Whether you have children or not it can be a lot of fun watching children grow up and especially fun for those without kids to have the opportunity to be a big kid again (depending on the age of
Bio: Online dating veteran who prefers to find the silver-lining in situations. Life is short. Might as well laugh. Masters in the school of life with hopes of gaining my PhD in time. Real life advice because, well, I’ve been there. @MexiGingerMe
Top 10 Dating Spots in Ottawa
By Single Dating Diva (@SingleDatingDiv) and MateCheck/WinkWisely
Who says Ottawa’s where fun went to die? There are a lot of great things to do, especially on a date.
Here are some of our favourites for any budget:
1. Ornamental Gardens & Arboretum (Prince of Wales Drive)
The Arboretum
Photo Credit: AFP
Nothing is more romantic than a walk amongst the trees and flowers at the Experimental Farm. You could walk for hours without even noticing it. Created in Victorian times when gardens were all the rage, the Gardens and Arboretum have become one of Ottawa’s premiere romantic spots. On any given weekend in the summer you will see wedding couples taking pictures surrounded by the blooming flowers and trees. The Gardens and Arboretum are definitely peaceful spots great for getting to know your date. Make sure you wear comfortable shoes.
2. Oh So Good (25 York St.)
Save room for dessert, because this is THE place to indulge in sweets. Miss Betty Crocker herself couldn’t describe the variety or quality of their cakes and pies! Do yourself and your date a favor and order yourself a slice of Devil’s Food cake or some Coconut Cream pie, sit back and enjoy the local art that lines the walls.
3. Gelato at Stella Luna (1103 Bank Street)
Can’t take your date on a Roman holiday? Here’s the next best thing! Boasting some of the best Gelatos and Coffees this side of the Atlantic, Stella Luna’s romantic atmosphere will definitely help you woo your date. Our personal favourite would have to be the Affogato (espress with a scoop of gelato). A visit to Stella Luna will impress even your most discerning date.
4. The Black Thorn (15 Clarence St.)
The ultimate “traditional” dinner date venue sit tucked away in the back of the ByWard Market. Keeping you safe from both prying eyes and the masses of tourists, the Black Thorn is still close enough that going for a walk after dinner and a drink or two doesn’t set off any weird, back alley alarm bells that some other out-of-the-way restaurants might.
The restaurant itself is remarkably cozy, well-run, and the building is over 130 years old and has a great history. Oh, and the food is excellent! Not a whole lot of people know about this little gem and it can definitely add some cool points for being in the know.
Rideau Canal sunset
Photo credit: scjody
Since 1832, the Rideau Canada connects the city of Ottawa on the Ottawa River to the city of Kingston on Lake Ontario. Any time of year this UNESCO World Heritage Site is a real gem. In the winter you could skate on the Canal and take in the Winterlude activities (including admiring the many ice sculptures). The Skateway is 7.8 kilometres long, and begins just steps from Canada’s Parliament Buildings. Stop along the way for a Beavertail and Hot Chocolate. In the summer you can walk along the canal and watch the boats at the locks.
6. Chez Lucien (137 Murray St.)
Another hidden little gem, this gastro pub is more on the casual side. With the jukebox loaded with French Contemporary and a menu that sports hands-down-no-question one of the best burgers in Ottawa, Chez Lucien is a great place for a second or third date. It’s going to be busy but its intimate vibe makes for some comfortable privacy-you know, so the two of you can get to know each other.
7. Fat Tuesday’s (62 York St.)
This spot can get LOUD! But oh, is it worth it! They’ve got fantastic food, a large cocktail list and… wait for it… a duelling piano band. Fat Tuesday’s definitely isn’t for the faint of heart but if you’re looking to have a more lively time with your date, check out this resto-bar and let loose with a staff who will sing and dance just as much as you do! You can also see what the future holds while getting your palm read by their in-house palm reader!
8. The Honest Lawyer (141 George St.)
A bar with video games? Probably the best ice-breaker anyone could have come up with. If you’re jones-ing for a plate of nachos or a basket of Waffle Cut Fries or flight of beer, head over and have a great time getting to know your date over a friendly game of air hockey or Big Buck Hunter. And remember to bring some change!
9. Hog’s Back Park (Hog’s Back Road)
Hog’s Back Park overlooks the Hog’s Back Falls on the Rideau River. Bring your comfortable shoes and take a stroll through the park and enjoy its natural beauty, especially the views of Hog’s Back Falls and the Rideau River. Nature walking at its best! Hog’s Back Park is also a great place for an afternoon romantic picnic, bring your own or buy something at the concession stand.
10. Ottawa-Gatineau National Museums
The grounds and view at the Museum of Civilization.
Photo credit: daryl_mitchell
Take in an exhibit and learn something new … it will give you some very interesting things to talk about! Thursdays are free and open late. Check out the list and links here for more detailed descriptions of the various museums and exhibits to see what you would be interested in.
These are just some of our favourites but there are so many things to do in Ottawa with your date and it really doesn’t have to cost a lot of money!
What are some of your favourite Ottawa date spots? We’d love to hear them!!
Cinco De Mayo inspired date ideas – Guest Post
In honour of Cinco de Mayo, a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride, here are a few Latin inspired date ideas from a redheaded Mexican who grew up with piñatas at her birthday parties and whose mother brought homemade mole poblano (chocolate chicken) to potlucks.
1. Salsa Dancing – It’s passionate. It’s hot. It’s fun! Check out your local salsa bar and enjoy a night of dancing. If jumping into the deep end isn’t your thing then maybe pick-up a Groupon for a salsa class or zumba class and make it date 1 or 5.
2. Make Mexican Food – It can be an interactive meal with you and your date. Chop up vegetables, shred some cheese and make it a taco night! You can work together in the kitchen to create this easy meal OR have it prepped and ready to go when they arrive. Nothing like a few margaritas to help loosen things up – just stay away from the refried beans, last thing you want is a flatulent stomach on date number three.
3. Check out a live show – Mexican culture is so rich and vibrant. In Mexico different regions have their own unique traditional style of dance. Like the Jarabe Tapatío a courtship dance where the man tries to woo the woman. Eventually she succumbs to the man’s advances and ends the dance??? in a kiss hidden behind the infamous Mexican sombrero or “La Bamba” in which a couple tie a bow with their feet working together as a team to create this knot of love. And one of my favourites “La Bruja” (The witch) in which women hypnotically dance across a stage balancing a lit candle on their head.
4. Mariachi Band – A Mexican restaurant with a Mariachi Band is a hoot. That’s right, I said it. A hoot. They’re always dressed in their traditional black suits covered in detailed embroidery with a powerhouse singer, brass instruments and string instruments. They’ll serenade your table and show you a good time. Just don’t expect there to be much conversation as it’s loud. VERY.
5. Beach date – Mexico is famous for its beaches so why not slap on SPF and make your way down to the water for a day by the water. Pack some fresh chopped fruit, chips and salsa and of course a couple of Corona and just RELAX!
6. Make a Piñata – It’s incredibly easy to do! All you need is a balloon, newspaper, paste & paint. Click here for easy instructions. You can each come with surprises for each others’ piñata and enjoy breaking them to see what comes out!
Enjoy!
Bio: Online dating veteran who prefers to find the silver-lining in situations. Life is short. Might as well laugh. Masters in the school of life with hopes of gaining my PhD in time. Real life advice because, well, I’ve been there. @MexiGingerMe
Dog v. Cat People – Guest Post
Would you date a person who prefers the opposite furry friend?
There has been a war between the dog people and the cat people since the beginning of time. Personally, I’m more of a dog person but I refuse to take sides as I’ve always had cats too. Dogs are your loyal companion and need you for everything from food to a scratch behind the ear. Cats on the other hand are far more independent. If they’re outdoors they can hunt their own food down and they’ll accept your scratch behind the ear if you’re lucky. They’re amazing rulers and are quite kind to their staff if you feed them well and keep them happy. There is nothing more soothing than the sound of a cat purring. I don’t care what anyone says though.
When it comes to couples, do you draw a line in the sand? Typically cat people and dog people have different characteristics and enjoy their animals for very distinct reasons. I’ve seen couples where each person is on opposite sides of the war. Somehow love can be a bridge between the dog-cat clash and the simplest solution is to, of course, eventually adopt one of each, or two, or three.
The ideal situation however is pairing up with someone on the same side of the line. This can ensure they will make an effort with your beloved pet. If the person I’m seeing is obviously disgusted by my dog’s presence I know it isn’t going to work out. My dog has been there for me through tough times and loves me unconditionally. You just bought me dinner. You’re out. The other nice thing about dating those of the same ‘feather’ is that they get it. They know how it is to be a dog/cat owner because they’ve been there. Their cat decided the toilet paper roll was an incredibly amusing toy or their dog has run straight into the house with mud all over them.
Then there are the people who don’t like animals at all. I’d rather be with a cat person than an animal-hater. Maybe they’re allergic or they’re really, really clean and don’t like getting fur all over themselves, or their stuff, but I’m never going to date them.
Bio: Online dating veteran who prefers to find the silver-lining in situations. Life is short. Might as well laugh. Masters in the school of life with hopes of gaining my PhD in time. Real life advice because, well, I’ve been there. @MexiGingerMe
The Talk – Guest Post
Image: Free Digital Photos
How do you bring it up? When do you bring it up? The ‘exclusivity’ talk has somewhat evolved into the ‘online dating profile’ talk. Come on, you know you’ve done it. Things are going well, really well, with someone and you couldn’t imagine sending another wink but then you wonder….are they still out there winking?
These days just because you’re intimate with someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re exclusive so at what point to you cut the Ethernet chord and close down your online dating account? In terms of timing, I think it’s fair to want to bring it up when some genuine feelings are stirring. Here are a few strategies on how to approach that subject:
Lay it out on the table strategy
Yes, it’s petrifying but all you need is about 30 seconds of absolute courage to say:
“I like you and I want to see where things go with us so I’ve closed down my account.”
Really you can probably spit that out in more like 15 seconds….if summoning said courage proves difficult there is always whiskey.
The casual ‘drop it into the conversation randomly’ strategy
“Yeah, I haven’t been on the site in a while. How about you? “
It’s showing a bit of vulnerability, yes. However, it’s presented so casually that hopefully you’ll get an honest reply. Hopefully they’ll answer with a:
“Yeah, me neither.”
Where you can follow-up with a:
“Well, maybe I’ll just hide my profile. See where things go.”
If they something like:
“Yeah I still check it out.”
You know you aren’t exactly on the same page and it’s probably too early to bring up any sort of exclusivity.
Some tell-tale signs that the person you’re seeing is still in the online dating game:
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They’re constantly on their cell phone (and they are not a drug-dealer or the prime minister)
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You check their profile and they’ve logged in recently (assuming you’re past the point where you’re still communicating through the online dating site)
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They never talk about the future or the relationship
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They never express any sort of feelings towards you
Bio: Online dating veteran who prefers to find the silver-lining in situations. Life is short. Might as well laugh. Masters in the school of life with hopes of gaining my PhD in time. Real life advice because, well, I’ve been there. @MexiGingerMe
Once Bitten, Twice Shy – Dating Tips
We all know the saying “love like you’ve never been hurt,” but that’s easier said than done. These tips will help you let you go of the past, so you can move forward with an open heart and mind.
Dating Tips For Nice Guys…and How Not to Finish Last
Haven’t had much luck in the dating game lately? It’s hard being overlooked or Friend-zoned, but the key is to control your image and present the best reflection of your true self. These online dating tips help you shape your profile for success.
Don’t get us wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a “nice guy” and guys and gals should totally be able to be friends but the problem is that often women don’t see the nice guys as love interests because nice guys don’t always send those messages.
If a women isn’t “looking” for someone at the moment Mr Nice Guy pops into her life she might not see him as a potential date. But then some flirty goof comes by, she is flattered and poof – she’s dating a jerk that flirts while Mr Nice Guy stands on the sidelines. The moral isn’t be a flirty jerk – it’s be the best you you can be and let the people you are interested in know you are interested – before they see you as a buddy or a brother. If things change let them know that too.
Dating Is Fun and I’ll Tell You Why
Stay with me here, you might be reading this thinking I must have had one too many martinis. But it’s true! Dating IS Fun and I’ll tell you why. It’s all about perspective. Think about it this way, when you are doing something you really like to do then you look forward to doing it and it makes you happy, the anticipation, the butterflies and the excitement release endorphins in your body making you feel good about what you are doing, whatever it is. How about when you are doing something that you see as a chore and you don’t enjoy doing? How does it make you feel? Most likely you are dragging your feet and doing it because you have to. Am I right? Now back to dating. What if you approach dating like something you like to do and that you look forward to? Then you will think – Dating IS Fun!
Dating Is Fun – It’s All About Perspective
Now I know just as well as anyone that after kissing a lot of frogs you get tired of kissing and don’t want to try anymore. We all want our “happily ever after” but it’s not so easy, is it? Well, maybe it is. What if we’re looking at it all wrong? Here are some things to keep in mind:
- Lighten Up: Stop taking dating and finding your “soul mate” so seriously. Dating should be an enjoyable process and not a checklist of do’s and don’ts. Dates should be fun ways to do things you like with someone you like, not chores because you feel you “have to”. Make it interesting. Try something new. Have FUN because dating is fun … it’s supposed to be.
- Think Positive: Don’t go on a date with a negative attitude. Each person has potential. If you’re not convinced about this person then don’t go. It will only give you something to complain about. Even if this is your tenth date this month, keep trying. When you think about things positively you attract positive experiences. Besides having a positive attitude not only gets you more dates, it makes you more attractive. No one wants to be around negative people. Now show us that gorgeous smile!!
- Experience: Take each date as a learning experience about what is out there and what you’re looking for. That’s what I did, I was able to narrow down what I liked and didn’t by actually trying out different types of men on for, um, size. You might be pleasantly surprised! That diamond in the rough might just shine brighter than you thought.
- Stop Being So Hard On Yourself: There is nothing wrong with you. The reason why you’re not finding what you’re looking for isn’t because no one wants you or that you’re undesirable. You just haven’t found the right person for you and that could be for many reasons. There are thousands of potential partners in any given city, you just have to keep trying until you get the right fit. Don’t give up. Repeat after me “I am a prize”.
- Put Your Best Foot Forward: Looking good will make you feel good and it will be obvious to everyone around you. Think of that feeling you get after a great workout, getting your hair done or dressing in your favourite outfit. Now, take that feeling and use it as a benchmark for how you should always feel, especially when dating. Taking care of your appearance and personal hygiene will make you feel good and look good. What’s the result? You will bring your “A-Game” to your dates and make yourself memorable.
Dating is fun. It really is. When you approach the experience positively you will reap the rewards it brings. Every encounter you have with someone is an opportunity not only to learn about them, it’s a valuable lesson for your own dating life. Go out, meet as many people as you can and enjoy it! Be social, be friendly, smile at others and it will make you approachable and datable … and who doesn’t want to be datable?
Date fun my friends!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Single Dating Diva is an award winning blog dedicated to single people everywhere! It showcases the many adventures we have and how challenging, but also exciting dating really is! She shares her dating stories as well as those of others. With experience comes wisdom and she also shares some lessons learned along the way. WINNER of Best Overall Dating Blog and Named one of the 10 BEST Women’s Dating Experts! You can find her at http://singledatingdiva.com and make sure to follow her on Twitter @SingleDatingDiv and like her page on FaceBook.
